In the course of life, a person is regularly evaluated by the people around him. Appearance, words, and actions are also up for discussion. We also have an opinion about ourselves, according to which we act in society.
What is self esteem
Self-esteem is the level of understanding that a person has of himself, his positive and negative qualities, the appreciation of his personality, a part of the self-concept.
Self-perception is inextricably linked to the degree of self-love. The more a person loves himself, the more appropriate and elevated his self-esteem will be.
Self-esteem is very important and affects the development of life. Confidence in your own merits and in your own strengths allow you to achieve your objectives. On the contrary, humiliation, feelings of guilt and shame, unjustified shyness prevent internal needs from manifesting and being fulfilled. Basic self-esteem is formed in childhood, but it is a category that can change over time and is subject to correction.
Types of personality self-esteem according to psychology
Psychology distinguishes three types of self-esteem. The ranking is based on the degree to which a person’s self-esteem is consistent with objective data. The more realistic a person considers himself, the more satisfying his relationships with people and the greater his achievements in all areas of life.
In this type of self-perception, the self of the person coincides with reality. A person is aware of his strengths and weaknesses, knows his capabilities and needs, determines his inner potential.
This person is capable of self-criticism and working on mistakes. In this case, it is easier to work on the weak points to try to eliminate them, as well as to cultivate the strength characteristics.
Distorted self-esteem implies that one’s opinion is far from being objective. It can be overrated or underrated when a person does not accept himself at all or believes that he has qualities that are not really his. Inadequate self-esteem hinders communication and professional performance.
Mixed self esteem
In this case, the person treats himself differently in different periods of life, sometimes he shows more self-confidence and at other times he becomes weak and complex.
Likewise, mixed self-esteem can be described when we see ourselves realistically in terms of some qualities and inadequately in terms of other characteristics. For example, we are confident in our profession, but in our personal life, we consider ourselves unworthy of a suitable partner.
The level of self-esteem depends on the degree of appreciation of a person for himself and the comparison with others.
For a person with weak self-esteem, the image of himself is not warm and he is not satisfied with the way his life goes.
The external characteristics of this person include:
- Frequent self-criticism.
- Recurring feelings of guilt.
- The desire to please others.
- The fear of doing something wrong.
In turn, the objective data of the person are good, the potential is there, but for fear of being wrong many times, it is not taken advantage of.
It is the most undesirable level of self-esteem since it does not allow you to build satisfactory relationships and achieve results.
A person with low self-esteem can be perceived in the following manifestations:
- Excuse and misplaced.
- Neurotic guilt.
- Constant apologies for your words and actions.
- Lack of initiative due to complete mistrust in their abilities.
In cases where self-esteem is low, there is always an imposter complex. If a person is successful, if he has done something well, he will say that it was a coincidence and that he has no merit.
His speech abounds with phrases such as: “I’m not sure”, “I can’t do it, I won’t get it.” By the way, perfectionism is a manifestation of low and undervalued self-esteem. Situations are common in which girls with a perfect appearance, of which many can only dream, torture themselves with diets, go through the scalpel of plastic surgeons and earn serious pathologies.
Having normal self-esteem of personality is a great fortune for a person. People are fully aware of their strengths and weaknesses, take their strengths and weaknesses for granted, and try to correct the latter. The person respects and loves himself.
Outwardly, this self-perception is expressed in the following terms:
- The ability to make decisions and take responsibility for them.
- A serene expression of your opinion.
- Tolerance to stress.
- An adequate perception of external criticism.
- Realistic expectations.
A person with normal self-esteem lives with fluidity, tranquility and harmony, has solid friendships and has all the opportunities to have a full personal life. There is little probability of mental and psychosomatic illnesses. The person does not feel guilty, he realizes his mistakes, corrects them and moves on.
The essence of high or exaggerated self-esteem is the same, in the sense of a distorted view of oneself in the sense of praising the virtues and ignoring the flaws. An exaggerated self-perception is better for an underestimated person, as it allows him to move forward. In addition, they do not have strong friendships and are often lonely.
Characteristics of a person with high self-esteem:
- Intolerance of all criticism.
- Firm confidence in his justice.
- Blame others for your failures.
- He is not in the habit of asking for forgiveness, even when he is guilty.
- Constant rivalry with colleagues and friends.
- Lack of desire and skills to listen to the opponent.
In principle, that person is not interested in people. They generally show off, talk about their successes, and consider themselves unappreciated. This person believes that the whole world should revolve around him, he does not ask, but orders.
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